... and my world comes spiraling down. I hate how you still have effect over me. And all along after the break up, I was doing so well.
I hate how weak I've become. All these emotions and thoughts about what-could-have-beens were all I thought about after receiving a message from him. Somedays, I think about calling him up and telling him, "You know what? Fuck this shit. Let's get back together, it has been so painful without you even though you're not with me."But I know that we've reached the stage where our relationship is beyond repair. Nothing will be the same if we got back together - the mistrust and distance are still there.
If someone really likes you, he/she would go the extent to prove his/her worthiness for you. Even if there's no hope in the relationship where you know the other half has given up on you, you try anyway not expecting anything in return, because you know that at the end of the day you can walk away knowing you've given your all.
He never gave me the chance to see what he could do because he gave up. Too easily. He couldn't prove that he wanted this bad enough, so I thought, 'screw this bullshit.' He gave me reasons to forfeit the space that I left for him simply because I didn't see him wanting this as bad as he said he did. I guess he realised that trying to fix things was tough work and understood the folly of his mistake when he said that he would do anything to fix this - because it really wasn't easy.
And then I knew that this was going to be easy for me to get over because if he didn't try, why would I leave any space for him? If he really wanted us, he would have gone all measures, not try mid-way, then decide to hop off the train because he figured it was going nowhere when it actually did - he just didn't see it.
I was nearing the hump, but now I'm back to square one. Then again, nobody said this was going to be easy. I will get there once again, but this time, I will get over the hump.
