You know, they always say that big-sized people always get the jabs at being different from the rest because of how people think and see what being beautiful is? How they are always at the losing end because they are 'fat' and 'ugly'? That they look horrible no matter how beautiful they are in the inside?
Its sad that I'm going through that despite my frame.
I'm sitting here, drowning in self-pity, typing this post because I'm so sick of having to have comments of 'You're growing fatter', 'You're so fat', 'Go lose some weight' thrown at me at the most unexpected time and it affects me no matter how hard I try not to. I struggle, thinking if I'm really fat or if they are just being sensitive. Most of the time, I don't ever want to be affected because I know that beauty comes from within.
But its really very difficult to have a shield on this matter when the ones saying such hurtful comments come from your very own family.
Is being fat really such a bad thing? Really? Why is Queen Latifah so confident of herself even though she is of different sizes? Why is Oprah Winfrey so rich although she is 'fat'?
I'm not trying to say that skinny people are horribly miserable beings.
I'm just so tired of having to bear all this shit from anyone that I have blood relationship with and I love - to tell me that I'm ugly because I've gained some weight. I don't get any of these from my friends, they don't even have any blood relations with me and yet, they accept who I am because I am who I am. They aren't judgmental nor curt.
Why can't I get that too? If my friends can make me feel confident about who I am, why can't you? Why do you like to make me feel so mad and angry? I have to bear it and grit my teeth while I control my temper not to get all fired up.
The very eyes that you've seen and loved for the past 16 years.
