There we were. You were mad at me, furious at me because I forgot to tell you something, you would have none of my apologies and explanations - just livid.
We had some school event we had to attend. We had to sit in groups. There you were, in a dark maroon t-shirt, looking suave as you always do. God, I missed your face. You ignored me, walking past me. I called out your name while sitting cross-legged in a circle with my friends. I sat beside Jo after exchanging places, called out to you so that you would sit beside me, just be with me. That's what I always wanted, to be with you whenever we were with friends, I just wanted to be with you. You shrugged, said no and walked away to another group of my friends because you'd rather be with them than with me, you couldn't stand me.
After the activities, I ran to the toilet barefooted. Gross. I woke up. I remembered you, how you always were, you always loved me. I tried going back to the dream, I just wanted to say one last thing to you, even though you weren't real in it.
I was back in the circle. I got up and walked towards you. You were busy laughing and didn't notice me coming over. I asked meekly if you could just come with me for a bit, we needed to talk. Your face dropped to a frown upon seeing me but got up anyway and walked away from the chatters and laughters in the room.
It was now us. No noise. Just us, I hear your breathing, I hear mine.
I tip-toed, leaned towards you and gave you the biggest and tightest hug because... I knew this was the closest I could get to seeing and feeling you, until the next time I see you in my dreams again. I feel your body, your warmth. I feel how broad your shoulders were compared to mine. I smell you, the familiar scent I've always loved. You were ingrained comfortably in my subconscious; I didn't mind, loved it even because all I ever wanted to think about was the person I loved who loved me back. I remembered how my body had slowly moulded to fit into yours throughout the years, my body learnt where I'd fit perfectly in the crevices and nooks of your body, how could I not? I loved you, loved your soul, loved your body.
My mouth near your ear and I whispered, "I'm sorry we never made it."
"Whatever." You tore from my tight grip and walked away.
I woke up crying.
