I'm filled with so much hatred for anything and everything. I hate everything. I hate everybody. I hate how self-absorbed people are in Facebook. I don't give a fuck what you did today, surprise, I don't give a fuck about your life. Stop.sharing.your.life.with.me. Everytime I go into Facebook, the hatred is still tolerable until I see some amateur photoshop user proclaiming to be the next Banksy then I lose it. I could just close my Facebook account, somehow the urge isn't there yet. Just yet. It's coming soon. The same kind of feeling you get when something bad is about to happen.
Last Saturday, my uncle suddenly passed away due to heart failure. I wasn't sure how to feel. It was only after a while that the news started to sink in and started to feel the gravity of the situation. I wasn't close to my uncle but that didn't mean I hated my uncle. All I felt was sorry. I felt sorry for him, my aunt and his kid. I didn't feel sad nor any form of anguish, just sorry. Sorry that he passed on when he should have just gone for the bypass surgery months ago instead of counting on his lucky stars to keep him alive.
Since the passing of my uncle, my family had to go through some tussle with my uncle's kid. Everything that is happening to that kid makes me angry. All these adults fighting over that kid like they were kids themselves. It's silly and petty.
With every funeral that I attend, there's the usual preaching on the importance of religion which I find insulting. I don't need anybody to tell me who and what to believe in. I detest those annoying Christian girls who would come to me, preaching about the love of God and how God loves and accepts everyone of us - blah blah fucking blah. I don't insult God and the beliefs but that doesn't mean you should insult me by expecting me to believe just because. Similarly, I can't stand my other uncle who constantly talks about Buddhism and tries to get us to join in the 'fun'. Just shut the fuck up already. I'll believe in whatever I want to. Just shut up.
Then there are friends. Friends that I thought were just that and would always make me laugh, happy and gay. What a happy picture I've painted right there. Friends who have left me without even saying goodbye, friends who just said a 'fuck you' and left, refusing to let me explain, friends who have back stabbed me, who said and spread things that aren't true. It's the kind of things where as a friend, should have at least first clarify facts with me instead of feeling mad when I'm completely oblivious to what has been said behind my back. Friends whom you once trusted with your life, slapped you in the face by trading secrets with someone else just for entertainment's sake. What a joke.
It's pretty clear I have so much to learn about friends. And this is about most of it to explain my impatience to get the hell out of Singapore. It's so bloody suffocating to see people who were once your friends hardly recognisable anymore. It's so suffocating to even be breathing the same air as these people who have just left you in the lurch, back stabbed you, told lies about you and betrayed you. Suffocating.
