Warning: THIS IS GOING TO BE A RATHER PERSONAL POST AND MIGHT SEEM EMO TO SOME OF YOU. BEAT IT AND LEAVE IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A FUN POST.

Just cleared out my Friendster's account, deleting those people I never knew nor met and deleting people that didn't exist anymore. Imagine a number drop from 280 to 209.

WOW. I'm shocked myself. I've got 71 'friends'.



I've been having weird and disturbing visions lately. Just out of nowhere.

Few days ago, I envisioned my neighbour's kid climbing out of the window and he was dangling from the window, suspended by the grills, forcing him to flail his hands wildly because he could drop any moment.

At that point of time, I remembered being very flustered and nauseated, wondering if shouting from my window to attract my neighbours to alert them about their kid dangling from the 2nd story would be better as compared to running over to my neighbour's house. A kid's life was at stake and I didn't know what to do.

And right now, I'm thinking about what I'd do if such a situation ever occurred. What would I seriously do?

Just now, while I was watching my dad work around in his garden, I suddenly 'saw' my dad just dropping to the ground, gagging on the floor with foam overflowing from his mouth and his body seized up, shaking violently in a way that was so familiar yet unfamiliar.

I remembered my dad telling us that should he collapse one day, we had to put this tiny pill under his tongue to stop him from having fits.

Just then, I saw my dad just shifting the heavy flower pots to form a straight row on the ground, standing with his arms akimbo to check on his already straight line. I stood by the window, with my heart thumping so fucking rapidly, making sure that vision I had about a second ago was not gonna happen at that exact moment.

Thankfully, it didn't.




Yesterday, I had a dream.

I was wearing this lovely baby blue dress that seemed to play with the wind hand in hand. I was walking with my best friend over to another's friend's house. I remembered being so happy whilst walking down the road, bursting out in guffaws at the most random things, chuckling for no apparent reason.

As we reached our friend's house, there was this playground in his backyard.

I remembered thinking to myself, 'What am I going to say?' worriedly as I fixed a smile on my face, while venturing further into his house. We saw him and his friends playing with the red slide, slooshing down, yelling in happiness can never be replaced forever, now that we no longer remember the childish delightfulness of sliding down a slide, only to climb back up again for another round of ecstasy.

I saw him sliding down that red slide with such happiness I no longer remembered he used to possess, diving into the pool of mud as they reached the end of their ride. I remembered dodging away from them after seeing my beautiful silk dress splattered with brown mud. My best friend and I shrieked and squealed, laughing uncontrollably, running away from them.

I met his eye and waved hesitantly.

'Hi'.

In my dream, I felt so distant from him although I knew him. Somehow, he changed. I no longer felt the warmth that boy used to bring me. He was cold and vile. And yet, the grey skies instantaneously turned rich blue right after he gave that endearing smile I used to love. That arrogant and conceited grin he used to give me.



I woke up. My sleep of happiness has just been disrupted by the 8.34 sunshine, peeking into my room with that unmistakable heat that rose speedily despite having the room temperature set to freeze the sun.

My room seemed to glow in orange light as I sat up in my bed, raking my hair with my fingers, as I looked around, confused by the sudden change of surroundings; from that green grass and puddle of mud with the red slide to the familiar room of mine.






Hands shaking as he caressed her face, palms sweaty as breaths quickened.