Don't you feel that the world is so kind today? It didn't rain when it looked threatening. The wind is dancing with your hair, and guess what?
I'm one of the top positions in the World Top Blogs and for the Best of Blogs!
Of course, I know who to thank la. Be prepared for the Oscar's speech coming along in 5 seconds. Anyway, I really wanna thank those who voted for me. Really. I don't exactly know who voted for me except for a few, but those who remained annoynomous, THANKS A MILLION. You've got no idea how much it means to me.
I've never been a person with 'good' attached to it. So, to have THIS position, I'm quite honoured and really pleased. I will keep up with the humour level in this blog since I've got feedbacks that its quite funny.
Well well well... WHADDYA KNOW! Sam's FUNNY!
Alright alright, I'll cut down on the sacarsm.
Today, was super terrifying day for me. I woke up and put on a random top and shorts cus my room was super duper cold and I could feel my saliva hardening into ice cubes. I approached my exceptionally messy dressing table, took a look at
So I went over to get some crickets and guess what I fucking found??!!
MAGGOTS!
Those fucking insects freaked the tits out of me that I almost screamed, FUCK early in the morning. But I couldn't cus my family doesn't allow vulgarities, so I had to remain decent.
So I was going, Oh shit, oh shit. Fuck! What do I do! I could feel those fuckers crawling on my tum tum and my legs.
As you know, I'm not the brightest person in the world, so I just squashed those freaky white little crawling shitass with tissues. And damn, I tell you, killing maggots is the new workout.
I can picture, me, setting up a class in Serangoon Country Club with a Maggot Squashing Class. I'll issue 1 tissue per person then free those maggots that are tightly contained in a 1.5L bottle and let the class begin.
You need to really SQUAAAAAAAAASH these effers till you feel/hear their inners go, 'PIAK'. Or not, damn it, I wouldn't be a survivor, typing out this post. I'm so proud that I managed to crawl out, without a single scratch from that war.
Actually right, I should have asked my papi to catch those maggots, get my ma-terr to deep fry it and set up a business like these crazy Germans.
Crazy people. Thank god they are not Singaporeans or I swear, I'd blast the shit out of them.
I don't mind eating insects. Really. But just don't let me experience a 1 on 1 session with them la.
If I were to go to
I can sense you guys questioning me already, 'EH, YOU VEGETARIAN WHAAT! YOU WANNA EAT BAK ALREADY HUH! I KNEW IT LOR, YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT THE TEMPTATION TO EAT MEAT. WHEREGOT PEOPLE DON'T EAT MEAT. YOU CRAZY NINNY.'
First of, creepy crawlies feel a different level of pain as compared to animals and us. Besides, are creepy crawlies useful to us? NOPE. If it’s a bee I'm eating, then of course I'll not eat them.
Bees EQUATE to honey! And I ABSOLUTELY HEART HONEY HONEY HONEY!
Second of, I want to eat insects must ask you huh. I've got my own band of principles and one of them is not to give a shit about people who make my life difficult. So, goodbye my little critics, off you go!
Omg, I can't believe I just typed out a post dedicated to maggots. What the fuck is wrong with me. Gah, my red-nails are chipping. I need to go re-paint them.
I'm too fat for your jeans!
